I encounter a fair number of women in tech who don't like to be called women in tech. I get it. We want to be thought of as what we are: engineers. I can see how it feels a little weird to add the "female" label: female engineer. It feels like you've just been forced to add a disclaimer that is completely superfluous.
When I was in engineering school, I couldn't stand being referred to as a woman in tech. I didn't join the Society of Women Engineers (SWE). I'm not going to lie. I thought SWE was stupid, and I joined the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers (IEEE). Engineering school truly is a meritocracy because there is almost always a right answer (or at least one that the professor is obviously looking for). When you're right, you're right, regardless of gender. I was right a lot; I had the highest GPA in my graduating class. I'm sure you can see why I didn't see the need for the Society of Women Engineers.
Then I went to work at a high tech company in a technical role. In industry, there isn't a "right" or "wrong" answer. There are varying degrees of right and wrong that are open to interpretation, and most of the interpreters are men. Suddenly I was being told that I was wrong. A lot. I was even told that I didn't understand the scientific method. Excuse me? I had successfully defended a Masters thesis at Duke University six months prior to being told this. I was told I was too aggressive. People didn't like my ideas (people being men). They didn't like working with me. I'm a relatively cool person, so none of this added up.
For a long time I was ashamed about the things that were happening. Everyone was blaming me, so I assumed these occurrences were my fault. Then I started talking to other women in tech and their experiences reflected my own. The only person who can really understand what you're going through as a woman in tech is another woman in tech, but other people will support you if you're courageous enough to share your stories. These experiences don't define us, but they are an important part of our story. Sharing my struggles helped me release the shame that was crushing my soul.
If you won't call yourself a woman in tech, then you're not sharing your whole story. I know you just want to be thought of as a great engineer, but you have to own your story. If you don't acknowledge and speak your struggles as a woman in tech, they will crush your soul as they did mine for many years. You matter. Your story matters. Share it. Own it.
"Shame can't survive being spoken." - Dr. Brene Brown
When I was in engineering school, I couldn't stand being referred to as a woman in tech. I didn't join the Society of Women Engineers (SWE). I'm not going to lie. I thought SWE was stupid, and I joined the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers (IEEE). Engineering school truly is a meritocracy because there is almost always a right answer (or at least one that the professor is obviously looking for). When you're right, you're right, regardless of gender. I was right a lot; I had the highest GPA in my graduating class. I'm sure you can see why I didn't see the need for the Society of Women Engineers.
Then I went to work at a high tech company in a technical role. In industry, there isn't a "right" or "wrong" answer. There are varying degrees of right and wrong that are open to interpretation, and most of the interpreters are men. Suddenly I was being told that I was wrong. A lot. I was even told that I didn't understand the scientific method. Excuse me? I had successfully defended a Masters thesis at Duke University six months prior to being told this. I was told I was too aggressive. People didn't like my ideas (people being men). They didn't like working with me. I'm a relatively cool person, so none of this added up.
For a long time I was ashamed about the things that were happening. Everyone was blaming me, so I assumed these occurrences were my fault. Then I started talking to other women in tech and their experiences reflected my own. The only person who can really understand what you're going through as a woman in tech is another woman in tech, but other people will support you if you're courageous enough to share your stories. These experiences don't define us, but they are an important part of our story. Sharing my struggles helped me release the shame that was crushing my soul.
If you won't call yourself a woman in tech, then you're not sharing your whole story. I know you just want to be thought of as a great engineer, but you have to own your story. If you don't acknowledge and speak your struggles as a woman in tech, they will crush your soul as they did mine for many years. You matter. Your story matters. Share it. Own it.
"Shame can't survive being spoken." - Dr. Brene Brown
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