I got an inspirational calendar for Christmas. I'm not sure why people buy calendars anymore when we all have smart phones, but I got one. It's called "Life's Journey," and it features 11 pictures of doors, stairs, boats, and paths. There is also a picture of a rock that I think they just threw in there because they couldn't find any more pictures of doors. The doors say, "Look at me, I'm a door that you could walk through if you weren't so stupid." The stairs say, "You could climb me if you weren't so lazy." The boats say, "Think of all the amazing adventures we could have if you weren't such a disaster." The rock says, "I'm a rock."
Now, before you think I'm jumping to conclusions, let me just share some of the monthly messages.
February: To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping.
When have I ever been the kind of person who gives up in the middle of a journey? Even when I get tired, I remind myself that there is probably food ahead and have no trouble continuing. Is there a perceived danger that I'll just stop one day? Am I on suicide watch?
June: Home is not where you live, but where they understand you.
Thanks for reminding me that I probably don't have a home in this world.
August: Don't go through life, grow through life.
Ugh. If you wanted to pass this crap off on me, you should have done it in January. Now it's August and I'm already annoyed by your snide monthly advice. You're going to have to do better.
December: The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched -- they must be felt with the heart.
I'm not Scrooge. I already know that. Do you think I'm Scrooge? Because that's how I'm starting to feel.
This calendar has done nothing but piss me off since I received it. I don't think the person who gave it to me meant any harm. They were probably at Fred Meyer and thought, "Hey, Jen is inspirational. She would probably enjoy this inspirational calendar. She can put it on the inspirational wall in her inspirational office and it will inspire her to be more inspirational."
I'm looking at the January picture right now and trying to convince myself that this thing isn't evil. It's a picture of a street with brightly colored doors that have seen better days. There are bars on all the windows -- the kind of bars that are clearly meant to keep rapists out. There is a sign that says "Calle 13," so I know this stupid street must be in a Spanish speaking country. There is a mess of cat 5 cables draped above the doorway that is clearly a hazard. I don't think this could be more depressing. These people painted their doors with festive colors 20 years ago to distract themselves from the fact that they live in a crime-ridden slum, and it hasn't improved. Instead of helping these people, we're slapping some stupid quote about journeys and secret destinations on top of their struggle.
In fact, the only picture in here that isn't annoying or depressing is the rock. The quiet, steadfast rock. I'm going to cut out the picture of the rock, pin it to my bulletin board, and throw away the rest of the calendar. Problem solved.
Now, before you think I'm jumping to conclusions, let me just share some of the monthly messages.
February: To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping.
When have I ever been the kind of person who gives up in the middle of a journey? Even when I get tired, I remind myself that there is probably food ahead and have no trouble continuing. Is there a perceived danger that I'll just stop one day? Am I on suicide watch?
June: Home is not where you live, but where they understand you.
Thanks for reminding me that I probably don't have a home in this world.
August: Don't go through life, grow through life.
Ugh. If you wanted to pass this crap off on me, you should have done it in January. Now it's August and I'm already annoyed by your snide monthly advice. You're going to have to do better.
December: The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched -- they must be felt with the heart.
I'm not Scrooge. I already know that. Do you think I'm Scrooge? Because that's how I'm starting to feel.
This calendar has done nothing but piss me off since I received it. I don't think the person who gave it to me meant any harm. They were probably at Fred Meyer and thought, "Hey, Jen is inspirational. She would probably enjoy this inspirational calendar. She can put it on the inspirational wall in her inspirational office and it will inspire her to be more inspirational."
I'm looking at the January picture right now and trying to convince myself that this thing isn't evil. It's a picture of a street with brightly colored doors that have seen better days. There are bars on all the windows -- the kind of bars that are clearly meant to keep rapists out. There is a sign that says "Calle 13," so I know this stupid street must be in a Spanish speaking country. There is a mess of cat 5 cables draped above the doorway that is clearly a hazard. I don't think this could be more depressing. These people painted their doors with festive colors 20 years ago to distract themselves from the fact that they live in a crime-ridden slum, and it hasn't improved. Instead of helping these people, we're slapping some stupid quote about journeys and secret destinations on top of their struggle.
In fact, the only picture in here that isn't annoying or depressing is the rock. The quiet, steadfast rock. I'm going to cut out the picture of the rock, pin it to my bulletin board, and throw away the rest of the calendar. Problem solved.
