So much of advertising these days is focused on sending women the message that we look terrible. Too fat. Too thin. Too fair. Too dark. Too old. WAY too old. You should probably be hiding in a hovel if you're over 20 years old to spare the rest of the population from your withered, offensive appearance.
This systemic objectification and disempowerment takes place so that a multitude of unnecessary products can be sold. I should know. I've bought hundreds of these products. I don't even want to know how much money I've spent on body lotions to smooth out the barely visible cellulite on my ass when I should have been working out, eating healthy, and loving myself. Working out and eating healthy is really hard work, and advertisers hook us on the idea of fixing our "shortcomings" with easy, magical solutions.
Even when these products are effective in altering our appearance, they don't really make us healthy or happy. They might make us appear healthier. They also might make us happy for a moment, but they make us unhappy in the long run by perpetuating our addiction to attaining an unrealistic, unnecessary standard of appearance. In other words, we cycle through varying degrees of feeling terrible about ourselves. These products and the media that sells them steal our precious energy away from focusing on the things that really matter in our lives.
It's no secret that I wear make-up. I brush my teeth. I eat healthy. I get my hair cut every six weeks. I work out. I don't wear burlap sacks in place of clothing. Looking and feeling my best is important to me. I would just like to avoid products that are focused on "fixing" me because there isn't anything wrong with me. I don't need to have the skin of a 7 year old and the body of an 18 year old, and quite frankly, I don't want to. At 33 years old and 132 pounds, I feel way more beautiful, healthy, and fit than I did at 18 years old and 125 pounds. I don't think it's "brave" of me to state this.
I've built my life on a foundation of intellectual and emotional capabilities, not on a lack of cellulite and wrinkles. You have probably worked hard to do the same. No amount of Botox is going to make me better at what I do. Despite a pervasive cultural insistence that we are unattractive and should be ashamed of ourselves, our value is not extrinsic. We can nurture our true, intrinsic value by investing in self-improvement strategies that are positive, relevant, and effective: coaches, trainers, and therapists. Everyone can benefit from working with these people because they help us grow our intrinsic value starting with the fundamental truth that we're already good enough.
It's very important to me to approach career coaching from a place of positivity and empowerment. I help people create an abundance of whatever they want more of in their careers. Our focus drives our actions, which drive results that are lasting and impactful. There is no quick and easy alternative that achieves the same results as working with coaches, trainers, and therapists. There is no body lotion or facial injection that can change your life like working with these people can. Each and every one of us is deserving of the joy that comes from authentic, intrinsic self-improvement. Treat yourself to some empowerment. ❤️
This systemic objectification and disempowerment takes place so that a multitude of unnecessary products can be sold. I should know. I've bought hundreds of these products. I don't even want to know how much money I've spent on body lotions to smooth out the barely visible cellulite on my ass when I should have been working out, eating healthy, and loving myself. Working out and eating healthy is really hard work, and advertisers hook us on the idea of fixing our "shortcomings" with easy, magical solutions.
Even when these products are effective in altering our appearance, they don't really make us healthy or happy. They might make us appear healthier. They also might make us happy for a moment, but they make us unhappy in the long run by perpetuating our addiction to attaining an unrealistic, unnecessary standard of appearance. In other words, we cycle through varying degrees of feeling terrible about ourselves. These products and the media that sells them steal our precious energy away from focusing on the things that really matter in our lives.
It's no secret that I wear make-up. I brush my teeth. I eat healthy. I get my hair cut every six weeks. I work out. I don't wear burlap sacks in place of clothing. Looking and feeling my best is important to me. I would just like to avoid products that are focused on "fixing" me because there isn't anything wrong with me. I don't need to have the skin of a 7 year old and the body of an 18 year old, and quite frankly, I don't want to. At 33 years old and 132 pounds, I feel way more beautiful, healthy, and fit than I did at 18 years old and 125 pounds. I don't think it's "brave" of me to state this.
I've built my life on a foundation of intellectual and emotional capabilities, not on a lack of cellulite and wrinkles. You have probably worked hard to do the same. No amount of Botox is going to make me better at what I do. Despite a pervasive cultural insistence that we are unattractive and should be ashamed of ourselves, our value is not extrinsic. We can nurture our true, intrinsic value by investing in self-improvement strategies that are positive, relevant, and effective: coaches, trainers, and therapists. Everyone can benefit from working with these people because they help us grow our intrinsic value starting with the fundamental truth that we're already good enough.
It's very important to me to approach career coaching from a place of positivity and empowerment. I help people create an abundance of whatever they want more of in their careers. Our focus drives our actions, which drive results that are lasting and impactful. There is no quick and easy alternative that achieves the same results as working with coaches, trainers, and therapists. There is no body lotion or facial injection that can change your life like working with these people can. Each and every one of us is deserving of the joy that comes from authentic, intrinsic self-improvement. Treat yourself to some empowerment. ❤️
Such an important and well-spoken message.
ReplyDeleteI work in a coffee shop and since the holidays are coming, I hear women putting themselves down daily about how they're trying to lose weight or they're on a crazy diet where they only eat dissolved powders or something, all for the sake of looking better for their friends and family. It's so sad to me. I want to tell them that I remember their face because of how friendly and genuine they are, not because of what the scale in their bathroom is telling them about their identity.
I watched a video recently about female body image that featured a little girl yelling "My aspirations in life shouldn't have to do with the shape of my ass!" It made me think about how ridiculous something like that would sound coming from a guy, then I started to apply this philosophy any time I felt like I was being objectified, by myself or others. Would what I'm doing or how I’m being treated be completely ridiculous if a guy were doing the equivalent? This thought has been truly empowering to me and has helped me put a lot of my actions into perspective.
Thanks for your insightful comment, Hailey. It really is ridiculous to imagine a little boy yelling, "My aspirations in life shouldn't have to do with the shape of my ass!" He'd probably be yelling something like, "My aspirations in life shouldn't have to do with how much money I make!" Men are faced with a whole different set of ridiculous expectations.
DeleteYou strategy of asking yourself whether what you're doing or how you're being treated would be ridiculous if you were a man is smart. Several well-respected women have told me that they do this. "Should I apologize to this person?" … "Would a man apologize to this person? Absolutely not, because he wouldn't feel social pressure to be agreeable. An apology really isn't warranted in this situation." This strategy helps to put your actions into perspective, just like you said!
The same strategy would probably be helpful to men too. "Should I yell at this person?" … "Would a woman yell at this person? Absolutely not, because she wouldn't feel social pressure to assert dominance. It doesn't make sense to shame this person by yelling at them." It's a very straightforward and powerful strategy for anyone who wants to break free of the unrealistic expectations that are placed on us!