Before I embarked on this trip to DC with my mom, one of my friends asked me if I had any concerns about traveling with her. My response was, "No, because I know she won't have any firearms." When we arrived at my friend's condo in DC and started unpacking, the first thing that happens is my mom yells, "I can't find my knife... No... wait, I found it! Whew, that was a close one!" She insists on carrying this knife everywhere, and I'm still trying to explain to her that there are certain places in town where she is not going to be allowed to carry a knife.
If you're riding the metro this week, watch out for my mom. She will cut a bitch. I'm not kidding. She tried to fight a lady in a hospital parking lot three days ago. The only reason the fight didn't happen was because the lady refused to get out of her car. This was a smart move on her part because my mom has very long, sharp talons and was probably carrying more than a knife. The funniest part of this story is that when my mom was telling it, she acted like the other lady was the crazy one.
For the most part, traveling with my mom is pretty funny. She won't sit in the seats that face backwards on the metro. She got visibly annoyed because they didn't have old fashioned bed warmers on display in any of the bedrooms at Mt. Vernon. Then she made me take a picture of the paper place mats in the restaurant there. When we went to the Lincoln Memorial, she decided to publicly recite every part of the Gettysburg Address that she had committed to memory. Afterward, she wanted to go to a dance club. It's like traveling with someone who is a weird combination of a 15 year old and an 80 year old.
She had to put about 20 band-aids on her feet last night because she wore a pair of shoes that hadn't been broken in. We stopped about every five minutes so that she could apply another band-aid to her feet. I felt bad, but it was a little bit funny. At one point I was like, "Wouldn't it be great if there was just one big band-aid that covered your whole foot? We should invent that and call it socks." She just looks up at me and goes, "Shut the f*ck up," and then busts up laughing. She doesn't curse very often, so I found that pretty hysterical.
On another note, I know nobody is going to believe this, but we saw two foxes on the national mall last night. I tried to get a picture, but it was too dark.
If you're riding the metro this week, watch out for my mom. She will cut a bitch. I'm not kidding. She tried to fight a lady in a hospital parking lot three days ago. The only reason the fight didn't happen was because the lady refused to get out of her car. This was a smart move on her part because my mom has very long, sharp talons and was probably carrying more than a knife. The funniest part of this story is that when my mom was telling it, she acted like the other lady was the crazy one.
For the most part, traveling with my mom is pretty funny. She won't sit in the seats that face backwards on the metro. She got visibly annoyed because they didn't have old fashioned bed warmers on display in any of the bedrooms at Mt. Vernon. Then she made me take a picture of the paper place mats in the restaurant there. When we went to the Lincoln Memorial, she decided to publicly recite every part of the Gettysburg Address that she had committed to memory. Afterward, she wanted to go to a dance club. It's like traveling with someone who is a weird combination of a 15 year old and an 80 year old.
She had to put about 20 band-aids on her feet last night because she wore a pair of shoes that hadn't been broken in. We stopped about every five minutes so that she could apply another band-aid to her feet. I felt bad, but it was a little bit funny. At one point I was like, "Wouldn't it be great if there was just one big band-aid that covered your whole foot? We should invent that and call it socks." She just looks up at me and goes, "Shut the f*ck up," and then busts up laughing. She doesn't curse very often, so I found that pretty hysterical.
On another note, I know nobody is going to believe this, but we saw two foxes on the national mall last night. I tried to get a picture, but it was too dark.
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